TheNewsRoom

The News Room

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The Faceless Boy by TheNewsRoom, literature

Literature

The Faceless Boy

The crap computer that cannot play Party Monster Realising that the DVD would not play, the faceless boy threw the computer into Indiana Jones’s poster face. He lay on the floor and wept in self-loathing and depravation. 2 hours earlier “Can I borrow you computer?” enquired the faceless boy. “Sure” said John Barrowman. One sexy wink and saucy smile later, tossing the long computer to the faceless boy, John Barrowman pranced from the room. “*insert gay sexual innuendo of your choice*” said John Barrowman sexily. “Must be an engagement ring, that is” said Moonface in a Welsh accent. “

Ode To Nymphs by TheNewsRoom, literature

Literature

Ode To Nymphs

Once upon a time there was a small pair of nymphs. One was ginger and quite tall. The other was spiky and quite small. One day the small and spiky one was arrested for public indecency and terrorising old ladies. One day the tall and ginger one was arrested for assaulting batteries and terrorising cold babies. In prison the small and spiky one was anally raped. In prison the tall and ginger one was the anal rapist. The End.

Asha and the Squirrel by TheNewsRoom, literature

Literature

Asha and the Squirrel

One sunny day, Fonse and Asha went shopping. They went to Ann Summers, to spice up their ailing love life. The problem was that Asha couldn’t get it up anymore, because there was a squirrel, who reminded her of Tony Blair, who lived outside of their window. Fonse was also just plain crap in bed. The other problem was that Asha was dead fat and no one knew why. In Ann Summers, they were looking for one of those vibrating cock rings off the telly. They found one, and Asha went into labour. They called Timmy D, the midwife to help them with the birth. It was very disgusting. There was a lot of blood and screaming, mostly from Fonse. Lo a

Slagface by TheNewsRoom, literature

Literature

Slagface

Once upon a time there was a girl with a big slagface, so everyone called her Slagface, because of her ginormous slagface, which was ironically a humungous slagface, so Slagface slagged off her friend Slagface 2, who in turn slagged off the original slagface, Slagface and Slagface was very insulted by the slagging off she got from Slagface 2 and the other slagfaces so Slagface (who ironically had a ginormous slagface) slagged off Slagface 3, who was Slagface 2’s slaggy sister from Slagville, Tenessee.

Moonface by TheNewsRoom, literature

Literature

Moonface

Once upon a time a little moon grew up to be a big moon. His name was, ironically, Moonface. Puberty gave him much distress, as it caused his voice to become moonlike and craters to appear in unnatural places. These craters became the pitholes of doom, where tiny pink aliens nestled and squeaked at eachother. These made Moonface itch. “We are genii. With a capital I” – Australia

Spoonage by TheNewsRoom, literature

Literature

Spoonage

Once upon a time there was a baby spoon, called Spoonage. He was a very odd little spoon, because he had a peanut superglued to his face. Now, the other little spoons used to laugh and call him names, before fastening him to the Christmas sleigh and made him deliver all their presents. They used to kick him until he stopped moving. Spoonage used to go home and slice his own wrists with his own bluntness. He would cry miserably and was failing at spoon studies. His Teacher even had the cheek to say that he looked more like a knife (and everyone knows knives suck). But then, one day, Spoonage met a girl spoon called Leanne. Leanne was very ob

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The British Threat by TheNewsRoom, visual art

The British Threat

TheNewsRoom

Deviation Spotlight

The walls of the news room by TheNewsRoom, visual art

The walls of the news room

TheNewsRoom

About TheNewsRoom

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Artist // Literature

United Kingdom
Deviant for 16 years

Badges

My Bio

Current Residence: Casterby
Print preference: with paper and ink
Favourite genre of music: Hypnofunkyrockjazz
Favourite photographer: us
Operating System: repressive politics
MP3 player of choice: a big one
Shell of choice: tortoise
Wallpaper of choice: off white flock
Skin of choice: we lovingly accept anyone of any race, colour or creed.
Favourite cartoon character: afrocheese/ el nombre
Personal Quote: Those who wish to appear wise among fools, among the wise seem foolish. (Quintilian)

Favourite Visual Artist

Favourite Movies

104 Skinned Dalmations

Favourite Bands / Musical Artists

Herb Albert

Favourite Writers

Favourite Games

KABOODLE!!! / UNO/ Woofrape

Favourite Gaming Platform

the sofa

Tools of the Trade

Tabloids, Broadsheets, Glue, Scissors, A juvenile sense of humour

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Current Affairs

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TheNewsRoom

Nov 2, 2007

List Of Affiliates

0 min read

Lo and Behold A List of ACTIVE Members that i can remember. Other members? Get active and then you'll be added. But for heaven's sake don't complain publicly cos that's not the idea of being anonymous is it? Cambodia Strummer Romania Hutz Guyana Gaynor Australia Nash Kazakhstan Sinatra Scotland Bellamy

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TheNewsRoom

Oct 13, 2007

Welcome to The News Room

0 min read

 Nestling in the little town of Caistor, is a small house containing about 180 people; Casterby- a hotbed for political wit and vicious dismemberment of the many hundreds of innocent papers. Mostly daily telegraphs pinched from the recycling bins of unsuspecting Tory Caistorians. These papers are fuel for the creative fire of one tiny faction, The Brother(and sister)hood of News, capable of turning the most conservative articles into a lethal concoction of bizarre humour and sarcasm in a matter of minutes. Nobody is safe. NOBODY!!! --- UPDATE! (11-10-07) Our second tidal wave of wit and insight is up. This week it's a bit of a Gordon

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Profile Comments 8

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lol

Thanks for the

- sorry I'm really late replying!

Have a good weekend

aartvark

Oct 28, 2007

Thanks for the

Try doing a spot of work occassionally in Casterby too!

strawberrygasher

Oct 13, 2007

S'ok.
Love the style.
Inspires me to do some of my own.

TheNewsRoom

Oct 7, 2007

Thanks for the comments and adds. Keep watching cos hopefully we'll be getting some fresh images straight from our warped little collective mind pretty soon. thenewsroom

just lol!

I'm loving your sense of humour - so original! Definitely watching!